had a wonderful time yest.. thnx for eveything=) you make it so perfect. Sorry tht i ve to make u wait for so long yest... almost 3 hrs? so sorry abt tht..

Thnx eh jansen.. u go and put tht whole phrase in ur blog.... argh... i cld i ve killed u but nvm haha. Yest.. went off with them after walk walk with him. Guess hx had a great time without me hahhaa.... jansen alon can entertain them le... haha. They damn mean.. cant stop laughing at me. They were spying on me when i was eating with him and they were laughing at my expression...and copying me.. argh!!! no wonder i feel tht i am being watched all the time. Haha he feel it too. Think my eyes mux ve got stamps on it.. i actually cant see them haha. On the way... we were laughing and toking.. and i punch jansen on his arm when he laughed at me again. GRrrr.... how cld u guys eh? Kinda regret asking you to leave first.. shld ve ask you to come with me...haha..okie okie.

The choir thing.. almost fell alsp.. think its the atmospher.. the lighting and stuff.. its jux so nice to slp. Was msging the whole time.. reading letters... smilling to myself.. thnx goodness i m at the last row.. if not ppl mux ve tot i am crazy haha. i was smillling to myself even when i was on the train.kinda eerie when i go home..... the road is dark.. thnx god my dad wait for me downstairs. haha the eeyore sleep beside me yest.. till nxt morning *wink

Yest start off to be a beautiful day.. end off...such a sad ending. i shall not emphasis on it. anyway... hope everything will be fine... really really hope so.... =(
 
Have gastric today... didnt feel well... so my mom ask me not to go to sch. She is not feeling well, then she say she wanna acc me to polyclinic coz she scared i half way faint.. haha.. so yah went ther for the sake of one M.C. Don feel good this whole day... i am sick, worried blah blah... whatever... need to study for test on fri. Geo and ss test.. argh!
 
NO mood to type my entry.. shall end here...

Heard smth really bad yest... joyce told me tht jan hurt his head.. then need to go operation haha joyce make it sound as though he is going to die... so after sch immediately call him to see if he is ok... but he nv pick... went home send him a msg.. he say he is alright.. thnx goodness. Call him @ night... found out tht he may go blind... coz smth is wrong with his eyes then plus the head injury make it even worst. One more injury and he will be blind. Now there isnt any cure for this right now.. thts what he said.. its pretty sad. Even though he sound cheerful.. trying to act as if nth happen.. but i can feel tht he is really raelly sad. Jux tht he don wanna me and joyce to worry. Joyce and i almost feel like crying yest... haix... life is full of unfair stuff... =(
 
Sms seems to be overused.... think 3 days curfew also not enough.. argh but i cant take it anymore!!!!
 
argh! so hungry right now. Hate it when i ve gastric.. sometimes hungry sometimes full sometimes wanna puke..  =X . Whoa.. surprise surprise.. heston frm miss tan church. Coz he also ask me to go watch tht play call Eternity.. but guess am not going. Miss tan from tht church too.. hmm victory family centre i think. Whoa.. this world is sooooo small. Jux tht dono she go sembawang or cck one.
 
today physic test.. quite easy.. shld be alright. HAha funny thing is today got cme common test. lolx.. so hard to choose which one is the right ans. haha if fail then not fit to be singaporean le. Alvin's camera got confiscated today..lolx.. xinru make mrs lim angry twice today.. guess she so ji chou.. haha. WAh... nxt time cannot anyhow tell ppl i got blog.. haha expecially xinru..opps! haha.. coz he will publicise to whole class -_-"" arghh~ in the end the whole world noe my stuff.. arghZ!!! nvm haha.. i got nth to hide though =X
 

i jux read jansen's entry... and i found this part, 'Xian...I know ure heart is restless and needs a place to stay...but pls, dun for a moment of folly and break ur heart so irreparable...dun pick the rite guy but at the wrong time...wat the heck...u wont be reading this anyway.' i am touched tht he is still concern abt me... but haha, he didnt come to my new blog so don think he will read this anyway. If he did visit, he will probably leave a tag at the tag board. I know what he mean.. but i don understand some part of it though... haha nvm i will ask him myself.
 
YEst, was studyting in library with joyce.. for a while coz joyce is not feeling well. Went to popular after tht.. and its my turn to be dizzy and stuff...haix. Called jansen to pick her up coz i am worried for her coz she ve to go ther herself and no one will be there the acc her. Don wan her to faint somewhere. Met paul there.. haha umm went to delifrance. I was there laughing to myself coz i was sitting at the exact seat and place where the last time i was there with alvin and her mom.. argh.. so embarass tht time. nvm.. he was eatin.. and i was playing with my phone and stuff.. i was shaking in my seat.. mind u. My hand is shaking when i was playing with my phone.. how embarassing can tht be? haha if i am not careful, i may shake up the whole table. We talk and stuff... haha.. its kinda nice. WEnt home after tht. TOld him not to send me coz i wan sometime to think to myself. I was thinking the whole day, even at nite coz i cant slp...having gastric. Hahax.. guess..
 
Anyway... was thinking of my wish list at night too.. haha so this is it.. some of them are pretty impossible.
 
My wish list

1. stop dropping hair
2. grow taller
3. i wan a deuter bag
4. i wanna learn acappella
5. i don wanna be fat when i reach 21 hahaha
6. i wan baby blues comics
7. i wan a hug from all my frenx, close frenx, long time frenx, close ones..(as if they wanna hug me)
8. i wanna go back to lim chu lang camp to lie there and see stars
9. I wanna SEE this yrs firework!!!
10. i wannna......................

I am sorry i let this affects you. It wasnt your fault tht  things turn out this way. Trust me.
 
Feeling alittle better today. Yeah no doubt i was still alittle angry in e morning and i ve got my tots straighten, so i am feeling alright now(i guess so). Haha, i am not gonna let such things bother me, neither do i think tht i shld bother such things too. Its not doing me any good so haha, happy or not, i still ve to spend my day right? so i did rather spend my day feeling happy than angry over stuff like tht=D. If he choose to believe tht i will do smth like this, then let things be then.From 2day onwards, i am not going to bother it anymore. =)
 
Today, jane seems to be angry when she came up for recess. WHen i tok to her, she kinda ignore me...so i guess its becoz joyce came to sit with me and hx during recess. Like i say , its a guess so i dono whether its right or wrong cox i cannot think of any other reason tht involves me. But joyce told me tht she told jane tht she come and sit with us first and ask her to join us... in the end she nv come. Maybe she didnt heard it? I dono... i jux noe she is toking to everyone except me and yah... think she is not very happy. =X

OKie.. this is my 3rd entry today...i am darn angry.Spoil my beautiful day. FIne, i ve plan to call jansen this saturday to say sorry to him or whatever.i can even gif him my tigger if tht makes him happy. I don blame him for being angry for my comment in my blurty.... now, i don think there is a need to.  So he thinks tht i am seriously asking joyce to go mirc find another guy??? ha... what a joke. Why don he ask himself what he had said yest? JOyce was so darn upset this morning and i was trying to make her laugh... if i don say smth like this to make her laugh... what can i say? Its obviously meant to be a joke. IF its becoz of the diary entry u don wanna tok to me, i understand. But becoz of this thing tht u r not going to tok to me, fine! so be it. I can live without toking to u. I mean this time u guys cant blame me for being mad right? right? I seriously dono why joyce have to say tht either. Pardon me ppl... i am angry...

Jux saw paul's entry.. its really sweet... hope i wont get any diabetes soon. Haha.. yeah u really make my day =D
 
I am really, really speechless abt jansen. This time, i did get the proper information b4 i type this entry... not jumping to conclusion. I mean, joyce was so terribly upset today. Who wont? She was crying on the phone jux now. Now, i understand how joyce feel when i cry on the phone the other time over him. jOyce asked him if he really liked her... his ans is... dono. What is dono? Yes means yes, no means no. Is there a word dono in love?? If he is unsure of his love towards her... then he shldnt have said tht he love her in the first place? JOyce was so happy on the night he told her tht and she cldnt slp. The nxt day, she is so cheerful. And then? yest... nvm.. I jux hope tht he really mean what he said by "after olevel then say" and i hope he mean tht after olevel means concentrate on Olevel now and continue in future co he don wan her to be affected by it and flunk her olevels. But i know what joyce want, she wan it now, not future. Its definitely better to have someone to support u thru ur olevels and stuff, someone by ur side and all. haix.. i dono.. hope joyce will know which path to choose and choose the right one. coz right now... i can  see the right one for her already... but can she see it?

i am very very happy yesterday, today... haha.. i dono since when... but i am very very happy. =) Was it because of you?  hmm... i am so happy tht even when joyce told me she stead with jansen i am still very happy. THink i ve some loose wire somewhere. ONly after i put down the phone then i began to worry for her. Coz my lefteye start twitching and i can sense something bad is going to happen. Not tht i don trust jansen, i mean he is nice.. but the way joyce tell me everything seems too familiar to be true. ANyway, today when to class to check on her. ONcei step into the classroom i know smth is wrong. WHen i ask her if she is feeling ok... she seems to be in the verge of tears.. but... yah, she is unable to cry. She told me waht happen.. and i was like...what the hell?!?! nvm.. back to the topic... haix, god will bless her....definitely.
 
I am stilll very happy when i got home... hehehe. Nothing can upset me for the time being. Hope it will stay this way. Finally found my motivation to study and do my work. Hope to help joyce find her motivation too... *smilex!

Argh! i failed my social study.. so sad!!!! I spend so much time studying and this is how it turn out.. argh! haha, nvm. was arguing yest with paul tht pink is not a gay colour for guys... at least not pmk shirt.. haha okie, depends, sometimes it jux don fit. Hmmx... haha feeling kinda hardworking today though.. haha dono why. Later need to go and do my homeweork. Will be busy this few sdays... maybe no time for phone calls and stuff... haix. Maybe i will call jansen on sat? coz now i really ve no time.. further more he told joyce yst tht "we r not on toking terms" so u can guess... hmm, think i going to study le. Mux work really really hard. btw, i cant wait for 30 july. =) there is another reason for tht actually =D *smilex.

hahax.. had a tiring day yest night. Studying for chemistry and all..  haha, trying to remember all those theroy and all. HAha.. woke up, eyes swollen up like someone had jux punch me on my face..okie i am exagerating. Receive a msg from paul wishing me good luck... haha thnx.. made my day =D
 
Today assembly, teachers went to take photo, so we were sitting in the hall in our class. HAha, i seriously pei fu xinru. He really know all the gossip of our class mates u know. Why? haha, by reading blogs, diary entries etc.... i am one of them. Haha, then he wil read and come and laugh at me...fine! fine! hahahhax. We sit there in the all with alvin they all... then we tok abt chemistry stuff.. then other stuff. Haha, alvin try to take hx photo for him..lolx. Xinru, leave a msg at my tag board so tht i know u r here to dig for my gossip k? haha.
 
Whoa, our classmates were armed with "accesories" for photo taking... guess what? haha, gel, clay, whatever stuff for hair styling.. haha u name it the yhad it. Then alvin even brough sun glasses.. whoa! Impressive right? haha then they were planning what pose to strike for the fun-shot. haha so fun. After sch, went to get ice-cream with joyce, hx and alvin. Lol.. we were eating icecream and sitting on the see saw in those indoor play ground. WAH~ unfair!! they bully me.! okie.. i sound like a kid. haha... u know what. hx and joyce take one side of the see-saw and madfe me sit at the other side. Given their comibine weight and mine weight.. what do u think happen? And given their "super-power-butt-strength" it send me "flying" on the sit... butt pain ya know... haha but i took my "revenge" they each got to experience the butt flying thing haha. in the end, we got so use to it tht when we sat on the chair.. we almost automatically jump on the chair.. haha so funny.
 
Yeah! 30 july, we r going to victoria theatre to watch some performance.. coo right? so happy, its at 8.00 pm =D hehehhe... =P

First entry!

hmmm..thnx paul. For ur time in setting up this blog thing for me even though ya sick and drowsy and falling aslp on ur com... really really appreciate this. =) Its beautiful! Thnx a million!I ve learn to appreciate everything, everyone around me ever since last week...haix.
 
OKie, was feeling extremly guilty this whole day for what i ve written abt him on my blurty. Toking to joyce during recess make it worst. I feel like crying in english class after tht.Receive an sms from jansen in the morning and was darn sleepy with my eyes hardly able to open... see the msg, anyhow press and send over. After tht then did i realise what i was doing. I almost cried when he said he buy the pooh,eeyore and piglet to acc my tigger. Its obvious tht he is upset and angry with i ve wrote. TO be honest, tht is the nastiest thing i ve ever wrote in my whole lifetime. Now, wanna regret also no use le. The worst thing is joyce say he went to buy tht soft toy and late for his church. I really didnt expect him to go get tht stuff. His pay is so little and the 3 little soft toy? Mux ve cost a bomb. Nvm... think he now rather throw into rubbish bin than gif me. I don deserve it anyway.. guess he shld gave them to the orphans in the orphanage tht he visted. They deserve them more than i do. Now tht i see the tigger... i donno wat to do. OKie.. i tot i did type a one milion sorry an send an email across or call him to say sorry. But i don think there is a need... coz joyce say he wont wan tok to me, sms whatever... so i call he also wont pick up.... But the worst thing is he didnt know who i misinterpret the whole thing lor. Thw worst thing in life is to wrong someone. Now i say sorry also no use.. might as well go and die....
 
*Btw.. alvin jux said tht he bought the winnie the pooh stuff for 20++ for one.. now i can really go and die...